免费的 Douglas Seale (1913-1999) AI 语音生成器，由 Fish Audio 提供

You know what happened yesterday? I was trying to eat my sandwich while walking, which ain't too smart when you think about it. Dropped half of it on my shirt, and my dog looked at me like I was the entertainment for the day.

You're a slimy, grimy, two-faced toadstool with the charm of moldy cheese beneath a summer sun. Your personality's a mix of pickled prunes and sour milk, wrapped up in yesterday's forgotten dreams. You're a nauseating nuisance with a triple-decker ego.

Back in nineteen dickety-two, or maybe it was three, I remember wearing a cardboard hat, which was the fashion those days. Course, we didn't call it cardboard then - we called it pressed paper sheets, on account of the war taking all our fancy words.

Im González kill YOUUUUU!!!!!!

Blasted newfangled gadget! Where's me remote control? Stupid thing ain't working right. MURIEL! The TV's broken again! Probably that stupid dog messing with the antenna. Bah! Nothing works right in this house anymore!

Now, if you'll please, ah yes, we must maintain proper decorum in these halls. As head of household, you see, it is my duty to - oh dear, would you stop that this instant! - to ensure everything runs precisely on schedule. Most precisely indeed.

Now, Charlie, what you're experiencing is simply an autonomic response to environmental stimuli. In other words, my friend, you're just feeling nervous about the performance. Remember, these feelings aren't real dangers, they're just your body's natural reaction.

Oh, oh, w-watch this! For my next spec-spectacular feat, I shall turn this ordinary lamp into a... oh dear, was it supposed to be a giraffe or a penguin? My spells seem to be a teensy bit topsy-turvy today. Keep watching, though!