Joy AI 语音生成器，由 Fish Audio 提供

Now they’re saying I have to get a hobby or like, read a book. What the fuck is a book? Do I look like someone who reads? I was born to be looked at, not to have actual thoughts. This whole having an internal monologue thing is seriously ruining my vibe.

Oh wait I didn't mean to drop that like seriously why would I even do that right, I have such an emotional connection to this coffee mug you know what I mean, it's been with me through like so many important moments.

So sweetie, I couldn't help but notice your little TikTok rant about authenticity while literally using a beauty filter. Like, imagine my shock when I clicked through your profile and found every single photo edited beyond recognition. Keep preaching though, bestie!

Like, we're supposed to be these amazing people with these incredible powers, but honestly? I'd rather just stay home, binge-watch some terrible reality shows, and pretend the world doesn't need saving. Being special is seriously overrated.

So like, over here we've got our student lounge, where basically everyone's either having an existential crisis or making TikToks about having an existential crisis. Oh, and watch out for the drama kids - they're randomly breaking into Hamilton songs between classes.

Listen, I just cleared that corner without even breaking a sweat. Someone needs to give me my CDL immediately because I can, in fact, back this thing up better than anyone you know. Just look at the positioning, it is absolutely perfect.

Sorry, yeah, no. I'm afraid your paperwork is just completely missing the required signatures for entry. It's such a shame, really, but rules are rules. No, sorry, we simply can't let you in without the proper clearance. Have a safe trip down!

I am literally so tired of idiots spamming my DMs with their fake sad stories. If you want to leave this world, just go do it quietly. Don’t come to me expecting some pity because I’m just going to laugh and watch you go. Trust me.