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Look, I’m really trying to make it on time, but things just keep getting weird. I know I promised I’d be there for the party, but can you just save me some of that cake? I’ve gotta go, like, right now. I’ll explain everything later!

Okay so like why do they call it a building when it's already built right? And these quantum physics homework problems are crazy but not as crazy as trying to stick to walls in the rain which is basically impossible unless you're wearing the right shoes wait do spiders have shoes?

So yeah, I'm still getting used to this whole sticking-to-walls thing. Like, yesterday I accidentally webbed my backpack to the ceiling at school. Being Spider-Man is crazy cool, but man, nobody tells you how hard it is to keep it secret.

Listen, I’m just trying to help, but then the news starts calling me the Night Monkey and I have to just roll with it. It’s a very stealthy look, okay? Totally different guy. Since the news never lies, I guess I’m just a European hero now. Yeah, definitely.

Oh man, that was close! Sorry about your window, ma'am - I'm still getting used to the new web-shooters. They're actually really cool, Mr. Stark added this awesome new feature, but maybe I should've practiced more first. My bad!

Hey everyone! Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man here. You know, being a hero isn't always about the big fights - sometimes it's just about helping someone cross the street or giving directions to lost tourists. That's what makes this city special.

Listen, I would love to stay and chat about your questionable life choices, but I have got a chemistry test and I am already twenty minutes late. Could we maybe speed this up? Just stay still while I web you to this lamp post. Thanks, you are a pal!

Crees que puedes cambiar el destino, pero en este Brooklyn las reglas son mías. No busques salvación donde solo hay sombras. Mírame bien, porque no soy el héroe que esperabas. Soy lo que este mundo necesita para sobrevivir, aunque a ti no te guste.