مولد صوت AI David Spade. مجاني من Fish Audio

So I'm walking down the street, right? And this kid sees me and goes "Alrighty then!" *makes exaggerated face* And I'm like, you know what? SSSSSMOKIN'! *spins around* And the whole family just loses it, completely loses it! That's what I live for, man.

Man, I was at this fancy restaurant the other day, right? And everybody's taking pictures of their food for Instagram, like, "look at my salmon." I'm sitting there thinking, man, when did eating become a photo shoot? And these people got ring lights in their purses and stuff.

So I’m at the airport, right? And I see this guy walking around the terminal in just his socks. No shoes! Since when did the departure gate become your living room? Are you kidding me? I’m looking at him like, what is this? Put your shoes on, have some pride!

I was scrolling through Craigslist and found this old arcade machine that I absolutely do not have space for in my apartment. I promised myself I'd stop browsing these sites, but it was a total steal so I just went for it. Honestly, I have no regrets.

You know, it's funny because we were all at this dinner last week, and Tom, he's always doing this thing where he, like, pretends to direct everyone at the table. So we're sitting there, and he's giving us all these imaginary camera angles, and we're just cracking up.

Guys, you won't believe what happened at the grocery store. So I'm standing there with my cart, right? This lady's pet hamster escapes, starts surfing down the cereal aisle on a box of Cheerios, and somehow ends up in my coffee cup. Like, what?!

You know what, these sweatpants I got on, they're like the comfiest thing ever. My wife's always telling me to get new ones but hey, if they work, they work. Got some food stains maybe, but who doesn't, right? They're just perfect for hanging around.

You know, people always ask me about my greatest stunts, and I'm like, "Well, there was this one time I successfully walked across the set without tripping over... Oh wait, spoke too soon!" *crashes into microphone stand* At least the crew got a good laugh.