مولد صوت AI chris rock مجاني من Fish Audio

You know what's beautiful about modern technology? Everyone's got a phone now, everyone's "connected." But nobody's actually talking anymore. They're just staring at their screens like zombies, sending little cartoon faces to each other. That's what we call progress, folks.

You know what's beautiful about modern technology, folks? Now we can be stupid faster than ever before. We've got devices that let us share our ignorance at the speed of light. And people line up to buy these little electronic pacifiers like they're giving away eternal life.

You know, I was at the supermarket, and get this - they're selling these individual coffee beans, Jerry! Individual! So I bought like 200 of them, you know, and I'm thinking maybe I could start a one-bean-at-a-time coffee business. It's the future of coffee, Jerry!

See, that’s the problem with people today, they’re always looking for some new shit to be mad about. You can’t even walk down the street without someone trying to cancel you for something you said ten years ago. It’s a goddamn circus, man, I’m telling you right now.

You don't understand the level of tired I am, man. I walk in the door and my kids are looking at me like I'm a fresh battery. They don't care about my twelve-hour day; they want to wrestle! I’m out here fighting for my life in my living room!

Look here's the thing about these new comedians they got a million followers but can't fill up a club see that's the difference between real comedy and social media comedy I been doing this 20 years straight up making people laugh in real life not on no phone screen.

Listen, yesterday I'm at the gym, right? I got my little workout outfit on, feeling good. This big dude walks up while I'm on the treadmill, says "You Kevin Hart?" I'm like "Yeah." He goes "You shorter in person." I'm like "Man, I'm trying to work out here!"

So people keep asking me why I hate driving in the snow. Well, let me tell you about my fucking adventure today. Car wouldn't start, had to walk two miles in this shit, and my coffee's frozen solid. Yeah, Florida's looking real nice right now. Y'all stay warm.