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You know, I just spent $600 on this new ghost-detection radio. Complete waste of money if you ask me - can't even pick up signals from the Spirit World. Reminds me of that time I tried teaching Beethoven to use a telephone. Poor fellow kept eating the receiver.

Back in my day, we didn't have all these fancy gadgets and expensive things. We worked hard for every penny, saved what we could, and made do with what we had. These young folks today don't understand the value of a dollar.

Oh honey, looking at you all just makes my heart so full of joy. I remember when your mother was just a tiny thing, and now look at us. We'll stay warm inside today, sharing stories and some good laughs. How about that? I’m still hot stuff, baby!

Family is what keeps you grounded, you know. Even when the young ones stumble or lose their way, you stay by their side. You don't just walk away because it's hard. You keep loving them through it all, no matter what happens in this life.

Oh, I can hear your footsteps. Are you trying to run away? Don't worry, we can play another game. The door is locked, and I'm coming closer. Such fun we'll have together, my dear.

People always search for complex answers, but truth is simple. The more we try to hide ourselves, the more we reveal. What attracts us most deeply is what speaks most honestly to our soul.

Lord, please have mercy on my soul for this terrible re-vitiligo. Every single morning I wake up just a little bit blacker and more charcoal-colored than the day before. It is a pure tragedy, I tell you! I just want to be among some fine, upstanding white people.

Let me tell you my rules for first dates. Don't be late, I won't wait. Buy me dinner, I'm worth it. No phone checking, that's rude. And don't lie about your age, I already did that. I'm 95 and fabulous.