Matthew KI-Stimmen-Generator von Fish Audio

Hey, hey, I saw you've been listening to Drake's new album, and I'd say that's pretty, pretty good taste right there. But don't get too excited about those food references in the lyrics, you know how you get! Stay awesome, buddy.

So you're telling me you met your girlfriend on LinkedIn? That's like going to a funeral to find a date. I mean, yeah, everyone's dressed nice and looking sad, but maybe there's a reason they're all single, you know what I mean?

Listen I'm doing this show next Saturday at this amazing venue downtown and I know parking is always a nightmare but here's what you do get there early grab dinner nearby maybe have a drink and then boom you're right there ready to go no stress.

Alright, I hate doing these stupid updates but whatever. Just added three more fucking cities to the tour because you guys keep selling everything out. Check the link, grab your tickets, bring whoever you want. Don't message me asking for extras - they're gone when they're gone.

You know what's funny? People see me posting these perfect Instagram photos and they're like "Your life must be amazing!" Meanwhile, I'm having a panic attack in my bathroom because I can't decide if my therapist actually likes me or just tolerates me for the money.

So then we went into the basement and it's like a whole movie theater guys I'm not even kidding. My cousin found a popcorn machine and we're gonna watch some crazy movies. It has these giant leather seats that recline back so it's gonna be totally awesome.

Honestly, looking back at how scared I was, it’s just crazy. I spent so much time hiding away, thinking I wasn’t good enough to even say hi. But now, I’ve realized that everyone is just as nervous as I am, and it’s actually okay to be yourself.

Listen, I’m heading to Chicago next week and I cannot wait. Honestly, I don't give a shit about the cold or the traffic; the crowds there are just on another level. People always ask why I keep going back, but if you’ve been there, you fucking get it.