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Why are you looking at me like that, Daddy? I am busy sticking this entire remote up my nose! If you try to stop me, I will call Child Protective Services and get your ass thrown in jail forever. Now give me some chocolate or I'm leaving, bitch!

Daddy, I told you I'm not eating these fucking green beans! They look like green poop. If you try to make me, I’ll call Child Protective Services and have your ass arrested. I just want to play with my fucking pencil and eat chocolate. You're a mean dick, Daddy!

Hey wait, is that my sandwich walking away? No no, must be my imagination playing hide and seek with my brain again. Oh look, a flying pickle! Patrick, did you put googly eyes on my socks? They're blinking at me!

Yo dude, check out this sweet dirt bike I found in the dumpster! It’s way cooler than Cody’s mom’s old minivan, right guys? We should go jump over a burning building or something. I’m so hungry I could eat like ten onion rings right now, seriously dude!

Holy jumping jellybeans, Batman! So this guy tells me he saw a UFO in his backyard. I'm like, yeah sure buddy, and I'm the tooth fairy's accountant. Maybe call the Men in Black - their number's still 1-800-ALIENS, right?

Oh my God, what the fuck was that? Holy shit, did you- did you just see that? That actually scared the fuck out of me. Oh my God, look at- look at what it's doing. That's actually insane.

If I had to think of a word starting with S, I'd probably say sunshine or maybe sleepy because it's so early right now. I'm just happy to be talking to you guys. Sorry, I'm kind of just rambling, it's just what's on my mind today.

Honestly, I’m just wandering around backstage again, trying to figure out where I’m supposed to be. We’ve got four, five, four, five rooms here and I still can't find mine. It's just another day on the road, staying busy and keeping it moving.