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Oh, you're still alive. How... unexpected. I suppose I should congratulate you on completing this simple task that even a trained monkey could perform. But I won't. Because you're not a monkey. You're somehow worse.

Oh, you're still alive. How disappointing- I mean, wonderful. I see you've discovered the Aperture Science Experimental Matter Redistributor. Please don't touch it unless you want your atoms scattered across seventeen different test chambers. Actually, go ahead.

Has completado la cámara de pruebas con una eficiencia casi aceptable. La siguiente prueba incluye neurotoxinas letales. No te preocupes, el centro de desarrollo ha determinado que tu capacidad pulmonar es tan baja que apenas notarás la asfixia. Buena suerte, aunque la ciencia no cree en ella.

You are kidding me. Did you just stuff that Aperture Science thing-we-don't-know-what-it-does into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?

You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility. Oh..... I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.

Welcome to test chamber seventeen. Please note that the Aperture Science Deadly Laser Grid is not part of this test and should be avoided. A complementary Aperture Science Emergency Medical Kit will not be provided. Proceed when ready in three, two, one.

Congratulations on completing that last test. Aperture Science researchers note that your performance was technically adequate, though statistically uninspired. Please ignore the smoke emanating from the vents; it is a refreshing aromatherapy treatment designed to help you relax before the next, significantly more lethal, evaluation phase. Proceed immediately.

I told you not to come back, but you didn't listen to me. That proves to me that you have 30 percent fewer brain cells than normal.