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Oh my, look what I got from the store today. This, this amazing thing, it's like a super cool gadget and stuff. I got it all figured out, well, mostly. It's like the best random thing ever, just like that flying cat.

Hey, so like, you ever notice how vampires always wear those fancy clothes? I mean, who even dresses like that anymore? Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging - well, maybe a little. But like, do they have special vampire stores? Because I could totally show you where they shop.

Oh my fucking god, just watched this new show everyone's talking about and like, what the actual fuck? Nobody told me it would be this intense. I'm sitting here literally shaking, can't even process this shit. My emotions are just completely fucked right now.

Yeah, okay, I guess we can get some food or whatever. Burger sounds good, maybe a hot dog too. What's it called, that place down the street? As long as it's not too annoying to get there.

Hello, Chris Ray. It is really funny how you are ignoring my phone calls now. Are you scared to talk to me or what, Chris Ray? I know you see these messages, so why don't you just answer? It's really funny, are you nervous or what?

Yo, I’m telling you brother, when you’re in the gym trying to move heavy shit, the fit has to be right. Like, if you got big thighs, you know the struggle is real, man. Good looks to the family for the support, we just keep pushing, bro.

Hey hey, I noticed you've been listening to Drake, very very good choice there. But, oh wait, I'm getting distracted thinking about snacks again... anyway, you have amazing music taste, and I'm so proud of you, keep being awesome!

Look, y'all won't believe this, right? So I'm at the gym, and like, this couple comes up to me, you know what I'm saying? They're like "Hey, we follow you on social media" and I'm like, what, what? Like, that's cool but y'all watching me work out or something?