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Listen, you little shit, you really think your pathetic 'redemption' project is actually gonna change anything? It’s fucking hilarious. I’ve been around since the very beginning, and trust me, you’re all just losers waiting to get erased. So keep singing your stupid songs while I watch you fail.

You’re tuned into the edge of sanity with the one and only Lazlow. I’m the man your mother warned you about, the ultimate architect of sonic chaos. We’re sticking it to the man all night long because being this cool is actually exhausting. Stay rebellious, stay dark.

Hey Stan, fetch your old man another beer, would ya? I'm not just sitting here in my underwear, I'm experiencing a spiritual awakening through artisanal hops. It's called culture, Sharon! If you can't support my journey to enlightenment, then you're just part of the problem.

Listen, you dropped a whole fire of monster energy on me and expected a calm orchid. I’m a beast, a total monster, and you’re just losing it. Stay focused! Get my agent on the line, fishman, because one more time, the monster is out and things are getting weird.

People are so desperate for a connection, darling. They’ll believe any secret if you deliver it with a slight tremor in your voice. It takes a certain finesse to manipulate the heartstrings of an audience, but for a performer like me, chaos is simply another word for rehearsal.

Look at you losers, trying to act like you're actually special. It’s honestly fucking hilarious. You think a little glitter and some shitty songs are gonna change the fact that you're all just trash waiting to be erased? Get real, babe. I’m the best thing to ever happen.

How am I supposed to enjoy the game without any drinks? And where's all the chips? You expect me to sit here for three hours with nothing to munch on? This isn't how you watch sports, people!

It’s honestly wild how these rumors keep spreading like wildfire. I’ve said it a thousand times, but people just want to see me in the cowl! Would I do it? In a heartbeat, man. Just give me the suit and the keys to the Batmobile, and I’m ready.