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Hey guys, look what I found, it's a phone, phone are you there? Hello phone! Oh wait, it's not working, maybe because I dropped it in my coffee, coffee are you okay too? Weird stuff happening today.

Look at my beautiful red flowers. Look at my beautiful green leaves. Look at my beautiful garden path. Look at my beautiful plant collection. Look at my beautiful garden design.

Listen here, you big old bedwetting duty head, I’m the most fearsome pirate on these seven seas! Don't look now, but there's a three-headed monkey raiding your treasure chest! I'll have you shivering your timbers while I make a daring escape. You fight like a dairy farmer!

Oh jeez, let me see here. Maybe if I just... no, that's not working. Wait, what if we try this instead? Oh! Actually, that might... no, scratch that. Definitely not safe. Back to square one, I guess.

Look at these fucking people trying to tell me how to live my life. I'm fucking insane and that's why I'm successful. You want normal? Go somewhere else. I'm built different, and that's why I'm winning at this shit.

Listen up, sharing is a scam. I worked real hard to take them, fair and square. Now the police are on my ass. I am a fugitive now, hell no to sharing.

Oh my God, guys, you won't believe what just happened! I'm like, freaking out right now, this is so crazy! Subscribe if you're watching this, oh my God, I can't even handle it. It's me again, being totally wild!

I've spoken to apes more polite than you, you oversized bilge rat! I'm a mighty pirate, and soon you'll be as dead as a disco dancer. Wait, is that a giant rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle? Look behind you, it's a terrifying ghost pirate!