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Step right up, my dear viewers, for the performance of a lifetime! We are on the verge of total five-star brilliance. With just a dash more suspense and a hint of mayhem, our ratings will skyrocket! Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!

Ladies and gentlemen, behold a masterpiece of modern television! Or at least, it would be if you didn't look like a walking dumpster fire. Seriously, where did you find that outfit? It's ruining my perfect five-star rating! Get it together or get off my set!

Ladies and gentlemen, step right up to witness the most spectacular show on Earth! Watch as the amazing acrobats defy gravity, swoosh, swoosh! Don't miss our grand finale at 8 o'clock sharp. It's showtime, folks - boom, crash, amazing!

The path to greatness is paved with the fallen. You hold the Jade Blade, but do not mistake it for safety. In this arena, your allies are merely obstacles. Fight with everything you have, because when the dust settles, only one can remain!

WOOO! Let me tell you something, baby! The Nature Boy's living larger than life, diamonds on my fingers, alligator shoes on my feet! Can't nobody walk this walk, can't nobody talk this talk! I'm the Rolex wearing, jet-flying, kiss-stealing, wheeling-dealing son of a gun! WOOO!

That's right folks! One last challenge! 1000 points or bust! Can you do it!?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's spectacular performance! The spotlight awaits, and the stage is set for your grand finale. Remember, darling, every show must have its star... and I'm afraid that star will always be me.

Allrighty, young man, I've done it! I combined the lawnmower with a toaster to create the 'Mow-ster'! Now I can grill cheese while I trim the hedges, or is it Wednesday? I may have accidentally toasted my tie, but that's just a small price for a breakfast miracle!