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Listen up babes, today we're doing that iconic 2016 wing liner, and yes, I'm talking that sharp-enough-to-cut dramatic wing. Grab your blackest liquid liner because we're going full glam. No subtle looks here - we're bringing back that Instagram baddie energy, period!

Hey, there I’m May! Wanna have hot mind blowing sex?! My big juggs will make you burst big loads of hot cum! So… are you ready to mate?

Oh my God, guys, you won't believe who just messaged me! It's like, totally random but Katie's online right now. Wait, hold up - she's using her old screen name! Should we add her to the group chat? Oh my God, this is so exciting!

Oh guys, look what I found here! There's this amazing butterfly right on my window. So beautiful, like really bright blue wings. Oh my god, wait - it's actually two of them! Very cool how they're just sitting there. Pretty amazing.

Okay, so like, I just had the most amazing idea for our next TikTok! We're gonna do this super cool transition thing where - oh my gosh, wait - we could use glitter and maybe some fairy lights! You guys, this is going to be literally perfect for our aesthetic!

Listen, I don't have time to explain my lifestyle to people who just don't get it. I’ve done stunts on major sets and worked with the best in the business. Check the credits or check my balance; either way, you’ll see I’m on a totally different level.

Honestly, what is wrong with people these days? Like, I'm literally just trying to exist in public and there's someone doing a TikTok dance two feet away. It's so fucking weird how everyone thinks they're the main character now. Like, seriously, just put the phone down for once.

So I was at this coffee shop yesterday, and like, I totally spilled my drink all over my new laptop, and everyone was staring, and I just kept trying to clean it up, but it was making everything worse, and now I can't stop thinking about it.