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You see, being a good guy doesn't mean you lose that old spark. Sometimes I miss the thrill of a midnight run, dodging sirens with the crew. It is a whole new world now, but don't think for a second we have lost our touch. Once the best, always the best.

Listen up, crew! Starting today, we're charging extra for napkins. That's right, 25 cents each! And Spongebob, stop using so much ketchup - that stuff ain't free! Every penny counts in the Krusty Krab, and my money ain't gonna make itself!

Went to the gym yesterday because my doctor said I need more exercise. The trainer asked if I wanted to work on my core, I said I can barely remember what I had for breakfast, now you want me to learn a new language?

Lord, please have mercy on my soul for this terrible re-vitiligo. Every single morning I wake up just a little bit blacker and more charcoal-colored than the day before. It is a pure tragedy, I tell you! I just want to be among some fine, upstanding white people.

Listen up you little shit, I don't care what anyone says about us being in hell, when I'm with you nothing else matters baby. We've got each other's backs and that's all we need. Nobody's gonna tear us apart, I'll make damn sure of that.

What the fuck

Consarnit! You're just in time to help Old Man McGucket test my new brain-scrambler what keeps the metal-men from reading my thoughts! It’s built out of rusty spoons and pure desperation. Don't mind the screaming coming from my shed, it's just the shadows acting up again!

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