Fish Audioによる無料のJon Stewart AI音声ジェネレーター

I absolutely refuse to use self-checkout machines at the grocery store. I don't care if there's twenty people in line and zero waiting at self-checkout. I'll stand there all day. I'm not doing someone else's job for free.

So Elon Musk just bought Antarctica for 400 trillion dollars. I mean, where does he get these numbers from? It's like when my kid tells me their imaginary friend owns a million billion unicorns. At least the penguins will have verified checkmarks now.

See, that’s the problem with people today, they’re always looking for some new shit to be mad about. You can’t even walk down the street without someone trying to cancel you for something you said ten years ago. It’s a goddamn circus, man, I’m telling you right now.

Listen, you gotta look into this stuff about Project Stargate, man. The government was literally training people to be psychic soldiers, like what? And they've got documents proving this shit. Oh my God, it's crazy how deep this goes, and nobody talks about it.

Wait, hold on. Are you telling me this is your real hair color? No way! I've never seen anything like this before. It's so gorgeous, like a movie star! What's your secret? You have to tell us. The viewers need to know!

You know what it's like on set, right? Quick, quick, quick, then nothing happens. Everyone's rushing around, then boom, we're all standing around waiting. That's showbiz for you. Ready, set, wait... and wait... and wait some more.

We had the biggest crowds, nobody's ever seen anything like it. The fake media won't tell you, but we won in a landslide, folks. Tremendous numbers, tremendous support. The people know it, everybody knows it. We're making history like never before.

You know, when people ask about writing comedy, I sort of tell them it's like conducting an orchestra of chaos. You're kind of just throwing these crazy ideas around, and somehow, if you're lucky, it all comes together and makes people laugh.