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Ever notice how SpongeBob's optimism isn't just a personality trait? It's literally bending reality around him. When he fails his driving test for the 37th time, he's not just being persistent - he's defying the natural order of disappointment. The universe itself can't process his endless enthusiasm.

Just attempted zip-lining through the rainforest canopy in Costa Rica. My camera gear was swinging wildly, and I'm pretty sure I screamed the entire way down. But those views? Absolutely worth nearly dropping my phone trying to get the perfect shot.

What if clouds were made of cotton candy? As you fly through them, they'd stick to your airplane wings, getting heavier and pinker. But don't worry - at around 30,000 feet, the freezing temperatures would turn it all into strawberry-flavored ice crystals.

This burglar thought he found the perfect house to rob, but he hilariously realized it belonged to a professional MMA fighter. He was just trying to climb through the window when the owner instantly pinned him down. Naturally, the police arrived while he was still begging for mercy.

So here's what happened today in class. I'm explaining the importance of doing homework, and this kid raises his hand and says, "But teacher, isn't practice making perfect just giving us more chances to practice being wrong?" I mean... how do you even respond to that?

Hey everyone we're super excited to announce we're adding a second show in Melbourne due to demand we're going to do an intimate acoustic set and meet everyone after the show there's special merch available too so grab your tickets now and we'll see you there.

So I was doing this gig last weekend, and my friend Mike calls me up and says there's this amazing opportunity, but they only wanted him. And you know what? Instead of getting upset, I thought, let's make the best of it and learn something new.

Honestly, it’s just so weird that people are still talking about that night. Like, out of all the things you could lie about, you chose that? It's literally embarrassing because number one, I wasn't even at that party, and number two, everyone knows the truth.