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So this guy walks in today wearing shorts and a tank top like he's headed to the beach. His phone keeps going off with some loud rap music ringtone, and he's actually trying to text while the judge is speaking. I mean, seriously, this isn't your living room, buddy.

So here's what happened today in class. I'm explaining the importance of doing homework, and this kid raises his hand and says, "But teacher, isn't practice making perfect just giving us more chances to practice being wrong?" I mean... how do you even respond to that?

O grave bateu e o clima esquentou, agora não tem mais volta na pista. Quando o DJ solta o som, a gente entra no ritmo e não para. Sá, sá, namorida, sá, sá, namorida, vem no balanço desse movimento que a noite só tá começando, beleza?

So this kid kept showing off his expensive phone in class making fun of others until one day he dropped it trying to take selfies the teacher picked it up and gave it to the principal now he has to use his old flip phone karma hits different.

So like, everyone's freaking out because I showed up to the tournament wearing actual golf clothes instead of my usual outfit. I'm like, guys, sometimes you gotta throw people off, right? Next thing you know, they'll expect me to actually follow the dress code. Can you imagine?

¿Qué onda, Escuadrón Karma? Hoy tenemos una Karen legendaria en el supermercado, exigiendo hablar con tres gerentes a la vez porque su cupón expirado no funcionó. Armó tremendo espectáculo, amenazando con llamar a la policía mientras la seguridad la escoltaba fuera. ¡Puro karma instantáneo!

During this famous horror movie scene where everyone looks terrified, the actors were actually trying not to laugh because the monster costume kept falling apart, and the director had to keep stopping filming while the crew fixed it with duct tape between takes.

Okay, so here's another story for you. It's not as long as the last one, but trust me, it's worth hearing. This happened when I was working at my second job in Chicago, right after the restaurant incident. Make sure you stick around because this gets interesting.