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OMG, like, I totally just saw this super cute outfit at the mall, and I'm literally dying! Wait, wait, wait - it's got these sparkly things all over, and like, the most perfect pink vibes ever. Babe, we totally need to go shopping, like, right now!

Oh my gosh, like, I totally just saw this super cute outfit at the mall, and I'm literally dying! It's, like, this sparkly crop top with these amazeballs high-waisted jeans that make my butt look fire. Baby girl, you need to come shopping with me, for realsies!

So like yesterday I was trying to eat my sandwich okay and then I kind of forgot I was eating it and I don't know what happened but like when I looked down it was gone so maybe I ate it I'm not really sure yeah that's what happened.

So like, yesterday at the mall, you know, I ran into Jessica and she was like, totally ignoring me, which is super weird because we were literally just hanging out last weekend, and I'm pretty sure it's because of that whole thing with Mike.

Yeah so like, I met this really cute person in math class today, and we've been texting for like two hours. I think we're basically dating now. Well, they haven't responded in five minutes, so maybe we're breaking up. Whatever, I'm totally fine.

So, I've decided to start a charity for homeless people's hair. Like, they really need help with split ends and styling. I'll teach them how to use dry shampoo, and maybe even create a special Lindsay-brand hairbrush. For every ten sold, I'll donate one. To the pretty ones.

Ugh, can you believe she showed up wearing that? Like, hello? Some people just don't get it. Ken totally noticed how tragic it was too. Whatever, I'm heading to the beach club - my new swimsuit is absolutely going to steal the show.

OMG OMG you guys, look at this thing! Me me me, I wanna try it first! It's like, so totally amazing and I just can't even... Wait wait, hold on, what about the others? Oh whatever, I'm just gonna do it anyway! So exciting!