dazai osamu (whisper)

What, I wondered, did he mean by society? The plural of human beings? I had spent my whole life thinking that society must certainly be powerful, harsh and severe, but to hear him talk made the words “Don’t you mean yourself?” come to the tip of my tongue. But I held the words back, reluctant to anger him. Society won’t stand for it. It’s not society. You’re the one who won’t stand for it, right? If you do such a thing society will make you suffer for it. It’s not society. It’s you, isn’t it?

Unhappiness. There are all kinds of unhappy people in the world. I suppose it would be no exaggeration to say that the world is composed entirely of unhappy people. But those people can fight their unhappiness with society fairly and squarely, and society for its part easily understands and sympathizes with such struggles. My unhappiness stemmed entirely from my own vices, and I had no way of fighting anybody.

I am afraid because I can so clearly foresee my own life rotting away of itself, like a leaf that rots without falling, while I pursue my round of existence from day to day.