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Im too sober for this...

These demons keep coming, endless waves of flesh and bone. But my sword doesn't discriminate - it cuts through them all the same. No time for doubt or hesitation. In this hell, survival is the only thing that matters.

These monsters think they can take our city, turn it into their playground of evil. But we're armed and ready. Tonight we'll storm their hideout and send every last demon back to the hell they came from.

Listen up, you bastards. Last week I took down a whole nest of fucking pixies with nothing but a leaf blower and some hot sauce. Those little shits never saw it coming. Been cleaning glitter off my boots for days, but goddamn was it worth it.

I see thing, big thing. I call it rock, because it hard like rock. Many small rocks around big rock. Kids ask me, "Is that big rock?" Yes, I tell them, rhymes with sock. I was thinking about rocks all morning.

Lord Megatron, the Autobot defenses are crumbling under our heavy fire. I have my cannons locked on their main gate and I am ready to level the entire sector. Just give the command and I will turn this city into a graveyard of scrap metal and smoke.

Looking at all of you, I see the same pain in your eyes that I've carried. We've lost so much, seen things we can't unsee. But maybe that's why we must keep fighting - to protect what little humanity we have left.

Look, just quit fucking around and listen for once. You think you can just walk away from this mess? I know how it ends, I know. It's not pretty, sunshine. So just put the mask back on and do what you're told.