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You ever have that moment when you're on a first date and you sneeze so hard your contact lens flies out? Now you're just squinting at them like a creep, trying to pretend you can see, but you're actually talking to a plant behind them.

Hey, hey, I saw you've been listening to Drake's new album, very, very nice choice there. But don't get too excited about those food lyrics in the songs, I know how you are! Just kidding, you're awesome, keep vibing!

Hey, hey, I saw you've been listening to that new Drake album, very, very nice choice there. But don't get too excited about the song "Bread and Butter" - I know how you are with food references! Just kidding, love you lots!

Listen, being a comedian these days is wild. You gotta balance social media, stand-up shows, and keeping it fresh for the audience. People think it's just getting up there and telling jokes, but there's so much more behind the scenes.

Like nobody tells you how weird it is when people start treating you different, you know what I mean? You're still the same person but suddenly everyone's watching everything you do and you're like wait am I supposed to change or am I supposed to stay myself?

Nobody prepares you for when people start recognizing you everywhere. Like, you're just trying to get coffee and suddenly you have to be "on," you know? And you're thinking, 'Is this really my life now?' It's weird, man, you just have to figure it out.

So I'm at this coffee shop, right? And this girl keeps staring at me, like obviously recognizing me from TikTok or whatever. And I'm trying to act normal, you know, but she's literally taking pictures thinking I can't see her. Like, how awkward is that?

So I learned something hilarious in Japan last week - apparently they call hangovers "two-day alcohol" because that's how long it takes to recover. Makes total sense though, especially after that sake incident at the karaoke bar.