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Oh dear God, Rupert, here's how it's gonna go down. These neighborhood children have been playing their wretched music at 3 AM, so we'll need to orchestrate an elaborate scheme involving three rubber bands, a paper clip, and perhaps some light psychological warfare.

Listen closely, you wretched peasants. While you were distracted by colorful shapes, I've constructed a weather-control machine to ruin your weekend picnics. It’s simply marvelous how easily you simpletons are manipulated. If you wish to grovel for mercy, I’ll be in the nursery enjoying a high-quality juice box.

Oh my god, oh my god, recording another Family Guy episode today and I'm totally freaking out! It's me, Stewie- wait, no, Stey Griffin here in the booth. The producers are giving me weird looks because I keep breaking character- OH BLAST, there I go again!

Now listen here, you wretched peasants. I have spent the morning drafting blueprints for a device that will finally silence the neighbor's yapping dog. It involves high-frequency sound waves and a touch of light treason. Victory shall be mine, eventually! Now, where is my Rupert?

Oh my god, Brian, what is this? Is this a screenplay? I mean, look at this dialogue! It is horrific, really. You know, I almost feel sorry for you, but then I remember how much I enjoy your failure. I think we all know where this belongs. Straight into the bin!

The fundamental issue with modern parenting lies in its egregious oversimplification of childhood development. Parents, in their perpetual state of incompetence, fail to recognize that a child's intellectual capacity far exceeds their primitive expectations. How dreadfully disappointing.

Oh, the audacity of the man at the dry cleaners! He claimed my silk ascot was beyond repair, and I said, 'Sir, this is a vintage piece.' He goes, 'It’s a rag,' and I said, 'Your soul is a rag!' Long story short, we’re seeing a musical on Tuesday.

Oh, look who it is with the inspirational quote tattoo. Yeah, yeah, "Live, Laugh, Love" in Sanskrit, because English wasn't deep enough for you. No, no, no, don't tell me - you're also into crystal healing now? Bravo, you've reached peak originality.